Parenting a neurodivergent child can be challenging and demanding. Burnout lurks around every corner and can often lead to a love/hate relationship with your ADHD child. Do you identify with any of these common symptoms of burnout in parents of neurodivergent children?
- Physical and emotional exhaustion: Parents may feel constantly tired and stressed, and they may have difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
- Emotional detachment: Parents may feel disconnected from their child and their own emotions. They may also experience feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy.
- Withdrawal from social activities: Parents may find it difficult to spend time with friends and family, and they may avoid social situations altogether.
- Increased irritability and frustration: Parents may find themselves easily angered or frustrated, even by small things.
- Negative thoughts and self-talk: Parents may start to think negatively about themselves and their parenting skills or negatively about their child. They may also start to question their worth as a parent or the worth of their child.
- Depression and anxiety: Parents may experience symptoms of depression, such as sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness. They may also experience symptoms of anxiety, such as worry, restlessness, and difficulty sleeping.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, know that you are not alone. Parenting a neurodivergent child is a 24/7 job that takes its toll on the even the most patient, educated and put together parents. It’s important to reach out for help. There are many resources available to support parents of neurodivergent children, including therapy, support groups, online resources and coaching.
Though the following tips seem obvious, they can still be difficult to follow. So if you aren’t doing them, but believe they could have a positive impact, what is getting in the way? Sometimes when we know what to do, yet don’t do it, a coach can support us in meeting our goals. Here are just a few tips for preventing burnout:
- Take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. Just like on an airplane, parents are instructed to put their own masks on first, this is critical for parents of complex children. You must look at self care as the means to caring for your child.
- Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your partner, family, friends, a therapist or a coach. This can feel so difficult, but no one should face these challenges alone.
- Set realistic expectations. Don’t expect yourself to be able to do everything perfectly. And make sure your expectations for your child are appropriate for their needs and skills. It may take years of scaffolding to help your child realize their potential. Be patient with them and with yourself as you grow together.
- Take breaks. Schedule time for yourself each day to relax and recharge. You are important and need to re-energize your mind, body and spirit.
- Focus on the positive. Make a list of your child’s strengths and accomplishments…and yours too! What we focus on grows. It is human nature to feel motivated when we feel positive.
- Celebrate small victories. When your child does something well, be sure to praise them. They need this to keep learning and growing. While you’re at it, praise yourself as well. You are doing a hard job that often feels thankless. Recognize your efforts and thank yourself, even if no one else does!
Remember, you are not alone. There are many parents who are going through the same thing. Self care, a positive focus and a little outside help can be transformative in feeling in control once again.